Discovering and Embracing My Kapha Dosha: A Journey to Self-Compassion and Balance
When I first discovered my Ayurvedic dosha, I was disappointed. Reading the description of kapha dosha, I was sure I’d gotten the “bad” one—the dosha nobody wanted. I felt this mind-body assessment revealed parts of myself I didn’t want to face, let alone love.
Kapha dosha, one of the three doshas in Ayurveda, represents the elements of earth and water. Its qualities are often described as slow, heavy, sticky, dense, and cold — words that initially felt unappealing.
Without much context, I resisted associating with these qualities.
Aside from kapha being described as lazy (which I take issue with now—more on that later), it’s also not the dosha that gets celebrated for having the best ideas, being the strongest, fastest, or most efficient.
I longed for a constitution like vata or pitta—something thinner, more athletic. I wanted to be the productive one, well-received and well-positioned within capitalism—or at the very least, the ethereal, poetic, and imaginative one, with a kind of manic-pixie-dreamgirl aesthetic that would be desired within the confines of patriarchy. I was unconsciously orienting myself toward what I believed would be most valued and praised by society.
But this mind-body assessment — silly dosha quiz in the back of a book — was telling me that I was something else.
and…What if it was right?
What if I gave myself permission to embody the nurturing qualities of earth and water?
What if I embraced being loyal, loving, patient, grounded, steady, and reliable?
What if I learned to appreciate parts of myself I’d once thought undesirable?
What if I told myself a different story?
I wish I could tell you that my 20-year-old self turned it around right then—that I was able to suddenly love myself and feel empowered in exactly who I was. Instead, I set the dosha assessment aside. I finished college. I traveled. I continued to hear the voices of shame and insecurity.
But slowly, something shifted.
I was practicing more yoga than ever and started to feel proud of what my body could do. As someone who was always picked last for sports growing up, I liked moving at my own pace, not feeling a sense of competition, and challenging myself little by little.
I felt an ease in my body and mind that began to linger.
Returning to Kapha: Embracing Groundedness and Resilience
Years later, back in India studying and teaching yoga, the doshas resurfaced. This time, kapha’s heavy, grounded nature no longer felt like a burden.
I noticed people were drawn to this calming quality in me. They felt safe and steady in my presence. This groundedness became one of my greatest teaching strengths.
I embraced kapha’s qualities unfolding within me:
Loyal, patient, compassionate.
I recognized the power in my endurance and steady, methodical approach. Most importantly, I began to direct compassion toward myself.
I started to notice the ways in which my kapha was quite literally holding me through so much change and growth, without evoking anxiousness or anger.
While others around me were often overwhelmed or unsteady, I was calm and content.
Kapha brings with it a deep resilience that I’ve come to to cherish.
There Are No Bad Doshas
By the time I moved to Boulder to study Ayurveda formally, I was solidly pro-kapha. I loved knowing my constitution and understanding all the great qualities that it brought to my life and to my relationships.
When I started seeing clients in the student clinic, I noticed something interesting:
Almost everyone was convinced they were vata or pitta.
No one wanted to claim kapha.
It seemed as though I was not the only one who had struggled with negative connotations and internalized bias toward the “chubby” “lazy” dosha.
But the truth is:
Kapha is not the bad dosha — because there are no bad doshas.
When we misunderstand or devalue doshic qualities, we limit our ability to fully know ourselves, find balance, and live in harmony with our natural rhythms.
Thanks for reading Cultivate Balance’s Ayurveda blog. Feel free to share this post with anyone exploring their Ayurvedic dosha or looking for gentle self-compassion.
✦ The Doshas: Strengths & Challenges
Curious about the three doshas? Here’s a quick guide:
PITTA Dosha
Fire + Water
Energy of transformation, metabolism, digestion, confidence, willpower, joy.
Strengths: Focus, courage, passion, drive, discipline, analytical thinking.
Challenges: Impatience, frustration, judgment, burnout.
Balance tips: Rose water, yin yoga, hibiscus tea.
KAPHA Dosha
Water + Earth
Energy of structure, love, patience, grounding, lubrication, endurance.
Strengths: Stability, compassion, patience, loyalty, reliability, thoughtfulness.
Challenges: Stagnation, attachment, resistance to change, lethargy, brain fog.
Balance tips: Hot ginger tea, brisk walking, waking up early.
Curious About Your Dosha?
Take our Mind-Body Dosha Quiz to discover your natural constitution and start your journey toward balanced living.
Written by Molly McConnell, Certified Ayurvedic Practitioner and Postpartum Caregiver at Cultivate Balance.
Molly combines Ayurvedic wisdom with compassionate care to support digestion, postpartum healing, and overall wellness. She’s dedicated to helping individuals cultivate balance and vitality through personalized, practical Ayurveda.
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